When I was single, I remember people telling me, “One day you’ll have your happy ending.” I thought it seemed like a sweet sentiment at the time, especially coming on the heels of a childhood full of Disney movie, happy ending moments. Now here I am, about 2 weeks away from the end of my second year of marriage, (and anticipating the start of my third year), and I’ve realized without a doubt that I don’t want my marriage to have a happy ending.

When my marriage ends (and I know it will eventually), I want it to be because one of us dies. I want it to be gut-wrenching, because if it ends any other way, it will mean that the love we share now, the love that we’ve been growing over the last four years, is gone.

If my marriage has a happy ending, to me that means that the result of it ending will lead to the two of us being happier apart than we are together.

There’s nothing romantic about a happy ending.

I want a sad ending, and we’re going to work hard every day to make sure that’s what we get. And while I’m sure that some days it might seem easier to just take the happy ending way out, we won’t give in. We’ll hold out for the sad ending, and we’ll know we deserve it, because we fought for it.

I’ll always wish that it never has to end, but since it inevitably will, I’m holding tight to my sad ending.

Original photo by Focus Media