Life Changing Moments

QuoteIn life, there are little, tiny moments that make up the big picture of your life. Sometimes, the moments are so tiny that you don’t even noticing them happening. You wake up, make insignificant choices without thinking, and somehow at the end of the day, you could be eating pasta for dinner, but you walked past a flyer for a new Chinese place, and now you’re having that instead. Tiny little moments make up your whole life.

But sometimes, life throws you a big moment, and it changes everything. The even crazier part is one of your little moments can simultaneously be someone else’s big moment.

10 years ago today, while I was working my way through my sophomore year of high school, a complete stranger 1,106 miles away got into an ice-related, 2 car accident with a group of his friends, and it set in motion a series of events that changed everything. A life-changing accident was certainly a big moment in that stranger’s life, but its effects wouldn’t reach me for almost 6 years.


That stranger survived something that very well could have been fatal, walking away with two broken front teeth, a broken nose, and bruised lungs. His recovery process was long and painful, and he started dreaming of moving out of the north, away from the constant set of gloomy, dreary days. He fully recovered, and less than 3 years later, he moved to Raleigh without knowing a single person. A couple more years went by as he got settled into his new life, and one Thursday he went into work as usual, and ended up meeting the girl who’d become his wife.


As I’m sure you can guess, that once stranger is my husband, TJ – the greatest person I’ve ever known.


10 years ago today, his life changed forever, and without me knowing it, mine did too, albeit in a much smaller, insignificant way. I wasn’t there when it happened. I didn’t have to go through the terror and grief that his mom must have felt when she got that phone call to say that her 18 year old son had been in an accident. In fact, I feel kind of weird even saying that it had an effect on my life. I have to believe it had a part in bringing us together though. There’s no reason a girl from Florida and a boy from New York should have ended up in North Carolina, and yet, life brought us here. Brought us together.

Luckily, everyone involved in the accident survived with fairly minor injuries, and most of them are still friends today. In a way, it ended up bringing them closer together, and in the years that TJ has been in my life, I’ve really enjoyed becoming friends with them too.


I guess the point is, you never know when life is going to hit you with something little or something big, and you never know where life is going to take you.

Note: TJ and I wrote this post together, as I didn’t feel totally comfortable about writing a story that’s not really mine to tell. 

  • Amberly
    February 7, 2014

    Wow!!! Thanks for sharing the story!! 🙂

  • Jordan
    February 7, 2014

    Wow, I’m glad he was able to walk away from that! It’s amazing how little and/or big things in one person’s life can have some kind of an effect on another person. Life really is full of moments, big and small, that can shift the direction of our lives. Great post.

  • alisia
    February 7, 2014

    I am in tears. This post is unbelievable. I am shocked but I am extremely happy that he walked away with fairly minor injuries. This is a fantastic post that really makes me look at my day, my weeks, my months, my years and my life completely different. It shows that miracles do happen by him walking away from the accident and it shows that fate does exist now that you two are happily together.

    • ashleynevis
      March 5, 2014

      Thanks so much for your kind words, Alisia! It’s so crazy to think something horrible can help lead to something great.

  • Jessica
    February 7, 2014

    So glad is okay from that accident! It is crazy how one thing can change your life forever. Thanks for sharing!

  • Melanie at Ribbons and Rotor Blades
    February 11, 2014

    I think it’s great that TJ and you can pull something positive from something so awful. I think that’s part of what makes people strong individuals and couples. My husband and I met through my very unfortunate situation, that could/should have taken my life. But just like TJ, had I not gone through that, we wouldn’t have connected, dated, and gotten married!! I’m so happy he survived, you two met, and you’re able to share a positive story from a tragic event.

    • ashleynevis
      March 6, 2014

      Melanie, I’m so glad that something amazing came out of a horrible situation for you. It really is crazy to think that sometimes hardships lead to the best parts of our lives.

  • Rachel
    February 19, 2014

    This post has really touched my heart. I was in a car accident last month, and was left with a broken spine and a totaled car. My boyfriend broke his wrist (and he plays the saxophone for a living, so you can imagine how well thats going!) My whole life has completely changed since the accident, and I’m essentially stuck in bed until summer with a hideous metal brace on. I’ve been pondering why this could have happened to me, but your post gives me confidence that there is a reason for everything. thanks so much for posting about it.

    p.s. you live in Raleigh? thats where my car accident was! I live in Durham!
    p. p. s. I am also from NY!


    • ashleynevis
      March 6, 2014

      Oh Rachel, my heart just breaks for you and your boyfriend during this hard time. I hope that somehow it ends up leading to wonderful things, and that you’re feeling better everyday. So cool that you’re in Durham – I love getting to know other local bloggers! What part of New York are you from? My husband is from Rochester.

  • Kaitlyn A
    October 3, 2014

    What made your husband choose Raleigh of all places? I just finished reading a Nicholas Sparks book similar to yalls story about a boy from NY falling in love with a girl in NC, lol too funny.

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